Becoming ‘that’ girl is a phrase commonly uttered online, and is often accompanied by highly curated images from seemingly mundane parts of life - emphasis on highly curated(...guilty).

At surface level, it’s inspiring - but when your algorithm sucks you into endless consumption of flawless routines and perfect aesthetics, it turns an unobtainable lifestyle into a trend, rather than motivation to embrace your authentic self.

That girl you need to focus on becoming is you - the confident version of yourself that trusts their values, beliefs and purpose. It’s important to remember social media is a highlight reel and there is no mold or superficial goal to meet! Coolness is subjective, and authenticity outshines perfection.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), we have yet to evolve to a stage where we can read minds. However you see it, this rests on the frustrating assumption that your loved ones should simply know your needs, before you express it - which harbours resentment and hurt feelings in the future.

The simple truth: none of us can respond to feelings or requests appropriately if we aren’t aware of them. This is where communication comes in! Having one honest, open and sometimes difficult conversation prevents misunderstandings and conflict in the future.

While being vulnerable about your feelings is daunting, it opens up doors for people to understand you better, and in turn act accordingly to meet your expectations further down the line - a trade off that's well worth it.

Social media preaches, kisses the floor and glorifies hyper-independence, making support and companionship seem like a weak trait. As humans, connection is vital - not just for your mental, physical and emotional health, but the longevity of your life.

While doing things by yourself feels empowering, completely cutting out your support system for the sake of independence isolates you from friendships and companionship. It’s a basic human need that we shouldn’t feel ashamed about. Why should we be embarrassed about wanting to have a laugh and feeling seen and heard?

Taking care of your well-being isn’t always about making time for yourself! It’s about finding that perfect balance between being comfortable with yourself, and reminding yourself that your presence is valuable to others too. 

Who profits the most from insecurity? Social media. It’s one of the secret sauces that keeps us glued to our screens (and awake at night). We were never intended to consume as much news, information and entertainment as we do today, and it’s left us anxious, overstimulated and overwhelmed.

The damage has been done, but the case isn't hopeless - the constant comparison to the filtered, airbrushed images we see has led to the narrative that beauty depends on changing your appearance, when it’s truly not the case.

You are not a “before” photo. Aging is natural, uniqueness is normal, and confidence is what draws people in - don’t let external pressures tell you what your worth is or what you’re supposed to look like, you’re enough as you are.

We share these words like gospel, especially to our newly single or searching-for friends, and while it is important to hold true to your values and beliefs, we are only human! Nobody is perfect, so holding out for the ‘perfect’ person is like waiting for pigs to fly.

At the end of the day, love is a choice; making a conscious choice of commitment, accepting imperfections and growing through them together. The reality of relationships is that effort, compromise and vulnerability is necessary. A perfectionist mindset will ultimatelty lead to dissatisfaction and unrealistic standards that will never be met.

Perfectionism is your opp - they want you to be single forever… Don’t let them win.

“You’re in your 20s you should be partying!” “You’re in your 30s, settle down!” Okay, and who are you - the rule maker for age?

Society loves structure, down to setting arbitrary timelines for your life - but really, how are all 7 billion of us going to fit on the same path? Age is not a race, deadline or criteria for measuring your worth, and it’s silly to expect all of us to experience the same stages and achievements at the same time.

Stop comparing where you are to others, or buying into whatever your distant relative or Explore page shares with you! Who you are and where you are to day is a reflection of your unique journey, be proud of it.